New..Job..

Well, Things have been a bit chaotic lately. This post will be more informative and just a bit of a vent than fun.  I had a job opportunity that I was looking into just over a year ago, in fact I was so excited as it was a bakery job that I had dreamed about for years.  But suddenly it was gone and I had not heard from anyone and my heart was broken.  I had basically stopped much of my baking and often forced myself just to do whatever showed up on this blog. 
In June my fiance and I took a huge risk and I saved everything I could, flew out to Indiana and drove back to California with him for what I had hoped would be the start of our lives together.  He set out looking for work and I just went back to my job.  I had a decent job, part time manager for a retail store which worked well with my full time school attendance for my Bachelor's Degree.  He was here about a month and things crashed.  His car broke down and no one would talk to him about work just nothing.  It was very hard to take everything on with my minimal job.  His car breaking down was the worst. On the day we found out just what was wrong with his car ( the motor.. the absolutely worst thing that could be wrong) I got a call from the bakery offering me a job. I simply cried.  How could I even consider it, I can't afford a transition now and what if it was flakey and so forth.  I agreed to go down and talk.
The job seemed like a good thing, with much possibilities.  If anything it was my chance to see just how much I loved baking.  It is very unstructured and for the most part frustrating and miserable. Since taking it on, Erik had to go back to Indiana after we took out loans to get his car fixed. I find myself more broke and struggling ever in my life and less happier than I had ever thought.
I am not sure how much I regret the job change or if it will ever get better or if things will get worse.  I am going to try to post some of my work there, it is kind of seasonal but they want to make it year around.  I work at Apple Dumplin Restaurant and Bakery in Oak Glenn, hopefully I will get the pies down and maybe feel pride in my abilities instead of dread and misery. 

The first successful thing I have been able to incorporate is this Rustic Apple Tart, I am quite proud at how well it came out and how pretty it is.  I hope I can be happy a little at some point, it will be over a year before I get to see Erik again.  Lets hope things figure themselves out cause I am tired of trying to figure them out.